I could at least stand to watch the kids do nothing a little longer even if I have to do something. But alas, I will deposit 4 out of 6 children onto a school bus in the morning. There are some emotions there. Hmm, what are they? I think generally relief for a schedule again. Tomorrow is the day I thought I had been waiting for since the moment they tore through the front door on the last day of school. But now that its here, I dunno. I like turning around from my work every now and then and seeing just this sort of silly nothingness that seems to only happen on a boring summer day with nothing better to do than hang upside down from Mom's studio chair.
But then. Relief, yes. They are ready, as much as they whine, to have a big round clock to watch for prompting them onto to the next room, next friend, next subject, next experience and then home again. And by this time next week we'll have Juliana just about packed for her venture off to college. I know there are emotions there. My pillow is a bit damp with those most nights. I haven't quite figured out how to put those into words yet, but they are swirling about up there inside my skull. I think I'll go hang upside down on a chair and turn them into a dizzy brand of summer nothing for now. My capacity for denial improves with every passing year.
xoxo, Anna
I remember when my oldest, also a daughter, went off to college. Such a mix of emotion! Celebration, grief, excitement, and worry. It's what we raise them to do, but it's so hard. The tears on your pillow will dry, as will hers! Thoughts and prayers for you and for her.
ReplyDeleteAh, the summer nothings. Hard to believe school can be starting already. I think having a large capacity for denial is an under appreciated skill. It certainly comes in handy more often than not.
ReplyDeleteI long for more "nothing" days as well. It doesn't seem right to do school work with this heat. Carolina
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have summer vacation, again. It seems like this summer has flown by, especially to hear that your children will be headed back to school tomorrow! I think most kids in Maine get another week, if not two.
ReplyDeleteThe little moments are always the most remembered.
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ReplyDeleteMaybe there's some comfort—even if it's a disturbing comfort—in knowing that amid the excitement Juliana is certainly feeling, she is also feeling those same things you are. No matter how hard we try to deny it as daughters (and protect our moms from feeling like we're nervous and they should worry accordingly), leaving our moms (and in your case, a whole nest of familial love) is not an easy thing.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember the last time I was hanging off a chair like that! Of course, that is a particularly fun piece of furniture:)
ReplyDeleteMy oldest, a son, is off to college in a couple of weeks. I don't think I have ever felt so many conflicting emotions about ANYTHING in my whole life. Sweet and sour...light and dark...joyful and gut wrenchingly sad...I need some of that denial you are talking about...just to get me through...
ReplyDeletecool chair...sweet daughter...enjoy the quiet tomorrow :)
Happy, anxious, proud, sad...all rolled into one big ball of emotion. I'm sure it will take time to work through them. Its got to be a beautiful thing to see your little birdies fly....
ReplyDeletethis is the cutest.
ReplyDeleteSummer--so fleeting. Childhood is too! Usually. Unless they are in one of THOSE stages!
ReplyDeleteDesperately wanted .... that chair in my living room!!!!
ReplyDeleteAndi stole my comment!!!!!!!!!!! Except I want it for my bedroom!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI want that chair in my kitchen!
ReplyDeleteOh...I know what you mean, much as I love my little people, a schedule does sound nice at this point. Here the kids don't go back until Sept. 7th.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any answers for you, but I love your last sentence. :)
ReplyDeleteMy oldest (of three) goes to Kindergarten in the next couple weeks, and I'm dumbfounded. Where did the time go??? Wasn't it just a year ago, maybe, that I brought her home from the hospital? Or that I was rocking her to sleep? I really just can't understand how it all went by so FAST. And I'm terrified to think of how close her bothers are behind her...yep. I think denial sounds good, too.
ReplyDeleteLetting our children grow and go can be very difficult. One day we have them close to us, the next day they are gone,but our tears dry out as we see them fullfil their dreams and find their way through life.
ReplyDeleteCoraggio!
Denial is a wonderful place. I like to hang out there quite often when it comes to thinking about my children growing up. ;)
ReplyDeleteWe still have a few more weeks of summer nothingness here and I hope to enjoy it. Although I am sending one child off to law school this Sunday and the other off to her junior year of college next week and then the "babies" start 8th grade in two weeks. Yes I think I shall grab a chair and join you!
The armchair is beautiful! It sounds like ye all had a really great summer so don't fret and also theres so much to look forward to in Autumn and Winter! x
ReplyDeleteAndi stole my comment too!! I too covet your chair! Do tell where and what... is that your own fabric or if not whose.. I love the green buttons too!
ReplyDeleteGood luck to your daughter! She'll have a blast!
We have 3 weeks of UK holiday left, about 3 weeks of homeschool (first time here) and then 2 weeks of Aussie hols... their next step through a school door will probably be mid October - eeeeeeeek!
Read: Letting Go by Karen Coburn and Madge Treeger You needn't read every word, page by page but there are some wise passages that may help as you "let go" one by one as your children go off to university. I had 7 years between the 1st and 2nd...and the pain was there....along w/ the crying into my pillow, but I KNEW that we all had to go through that passage and would succed. We did, indeed....now have young adults w/ several degrees and creatively succesful lives. And so will you.... Wishing you well. mamasita
ReplyDeleteBlimey, you guys go back to school early! In the UK our little ones don't return until the beginning of September! Best wishes to Juliana for college and a big hug to you and her dad to help you through!! Justine xxx
ReplyDeleteAw, poor mommy. I don't blame the little one for napping after a hard day at school, even if it's only half day. :-)
ReplyDeleteDid Juliana decide to attend FIT?
And then you blink and they are grown and married!
ReplyDeleteHappy stitching!
Kim
Your studio chair is ridiculously fabulous!
ReplyDeleteHi Julianam nice to meet you here :-) - What will you study?
ReplyDeleteBye, Ana
...sorry...I ment...Juliana...
ReplyDelete:X
Ana
I don't want to even imagine the sending a kid off to college moment...
ReplyDeleteAt least my parents hadn't had first-hand knowledge of what goes on at University when they dropped me off...
In Australia, the longest holidays our kids have are five weeks, I think I would go mad having them home for a whole Summer! My eldest has left home & I miss him like crazy...I love it when they come home each day from school, I can cope with that, but not the weeks on end away. Its too hard to cope with. Too many tears :-(
ReplyDeleteBy the way Anna, if you ever feel the need to dispose of that chair, I have the perfect home for it, hahaha. Love it!
Wanted: that CHAIR!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way! Mine go back Friday, and although they're tired of each other and fighting constantly, I enjoy having them here. Next week it will be too quiet.
ReplyDeleteI really feel for you! We were going through the same feelings a year ago preparing to send our oldest daughter off to college. Yesterday we took her back to start her sophomore year (a week early because she is volunteering for freshman orientation). I still miss her like crazy, but you will be amazed how fast that first year goes, and they are home quite a bit - one month for Winter break, three months for summer vacation! It was hard to say goodbye and leave her yesterday but I feel good that she is in the right place and happy, and we have all come a LONG way this last year. Good luck!
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Can I ask what the name and maker of fabric on that chair is? I am flipping out to it!!!
ReplyDeleteIts really a mix of emotion after spending the whole summer. And i agree on the little moments are always the most remembered and you will learned it by heart.
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You are a better woman than I...I would cry if I painted over something so lovely. And I've never wanted to paint a mural in my own home, but if it was more like wallpaper, a fresh design like this, I could totally do it. I'm jealous!
ReplyDeleteFantastic picture.
ReplyDeleteI love that chair!
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