Monday, January 16, 2012

How It Went

snow.leopard

We tucked in on Friday, side by side, upstairs, busy. Quiet, working, drawing, laughing, ignoring, talking, singing. Then snow. Tiny at first. Then huge. She said we should take photographs. I rolled my eyes. But then she put on makeup. I got my coat. Froze my fingers. Click. After. Click.
These pictures document the last of her dark hair for the now. She spent Friday evening trying to go blonde. Then I stayed up with her until almost 3am, helping her go blonder. Then she kissed me goodbye only hours later (her head, a little brassy) while Jeff warmed up the car. I slouched on the couch with Roman. And I was fine.
Saturday. Fine.
Sunday. Fine.
This morning, I headed to her room to ask her to
go out and buy some milk and juice for me becau........OH. Not here. Right.
So I texted instead.
She couldn't go get the milk and juice right away.
She's in Brooklyn.
And then I looked at these pictures for about an hour.
It was a good idea, as it turns out, to take them.
She has a few more here.
xoAM

32 comments:

  1. I keep wondering when/if it won't feel like this every time my girl leaves. I mean, she is doing great and our relationship, though changed, has grown. But there is a piece of my heart that just hurts. Gosh your post touched me today!

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  2. And it goes just *that* fast, doesn't it? Beautiful and tangible, like snow falling, and then out of sight... not exactly gone, but just out of reach for now. I am not ready. I imagine what it will be like, and I am already anxious. How can this parenting and raising up be so fleeting, so temporal? I know we are still parents, but this next stage is really hard for me grasp.

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  3. Lovely post and she is beautiful. I can't yet allow myself to think about that next phase, when they are not here under my roof.

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  4. She is beautiful. I think you will always miss her most. Your first born. My first born is in MD and I am in IN. She has been gone seven, eight years? I still miss her. And I see her, talk, skype as often as I can!
    xo, Cheryl

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  5. My mum made the dinner the first night I was away and then got very cross I did not come home to eat it. My dad had to gently remind her......

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  6. Not looking forward to my almost 2 year old being in college. :(

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  7. amazing! i have four kids ages 3 months - almost 7. the days of any of them being out of the house feel so far away. yet i know i'll blink and they'll be here. you've done well to be able to maintain a good relationship with your (adult) child. not all parents are able to do that. i hope my husband and i will be good at that, too, someday.

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  8. Just checked out Juliana's blog and her words on her 'About" page; "I have an awesome mom and dad" state so simply and touchingly what we all know if we read this blog. You clearly have such a special relationship, I only hope I can do as well with my emerging teen. Eleven next month and suddenly such a challenge, but still my precious first born!

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  9. Ah, the pain of leaving and the hole in your heart...I don't think it gets easier and, in my experience, the first wasn't even the hardest. But the dark strands in the tapestry of family life make the others colors all the brighter. Bless you!

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  10. Our oldest son (we have 5) is only a sophomore in HS. However, now it's second semester, then summer, then junior year, then summer, then senior year, then summer, then gone. And sometimes I sit and am bewildered a bit...how did this go so fast? I know have a few years left before the big college exit, but I still don't think I'll be ready.

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  11. JULIANA as a blonde?? i cant wait to see this.

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  12. I know that feeling, it happens every time my two sweet kiddos go back to their lives. Sigh...

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  13. Oh my. Absolutely LOVE that coat! Anna,where did she snatch up that fabulous thing??
    xo

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  14. I admire you. My daughter is in Tn for 6 more days and I am having such a stinkin' hard time :- {
    You seem to handle it better. I admire that.

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  15. I asked my son to walk the dog...same thing. He had been back in Illinois at school for a day, but I really enjoyed the past 30 with him at home in Massachusetts. Dog is confused, poor baby.

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  16. Just returned from the airport putting daughter number 2 on a plane back to school. i will miss her in the morning when she doesn't bound down the stairs towards the basement for her morning workout. Instead she'll be on her way to the awesome gym at school for a body pump class. And I will be waiting at the kitchen table with my cup of coffee......:(

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  17. oh my....your girl has my heart and my daughter's (she follows your sweet girl's tumbler). my daughter is a senior this year and i had a meltdown packing away Christmas things...all the ornaments she's made over the years.... ran up to her room from the basement to hold her.....ack....here i go again. ok....i still have our little one here, but my oh me oh my, how the time flies... thank you for this. xo

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  18. Such lovely, lovely photos! Beautiful daughter! Gorgeous backdrop! Unforgettable! You will enjoy these for a long time.

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  19. What a memory. What a photo.

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  20. Anonymous2:08 PM

    Is that you holding the baby (maybe Juliana?) in the photo on GlitterSmack's third page there? The background looks like it could be Greece.

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  21. That is me holding baby Juliana... the background is Sarasota, Fl. :) should post that over here, I love that pic...


    xo,Anna

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  22. Annie C3:07 PM

    Nope, can't see Juliana as a blonde. She's so beautiful with dark hair -- like her mommy!!! I do LOVE her website and her illustration style. Even tho she's far away, so wonderful to know that she's following in your footsteps . . . .

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  23. My little man has just turned four and it breaks my heart that he'll be starting big boy school in September....
    ...he's growing up!

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  24. Connie in California6:35 PM

    Oh my...my heart just aches for you. Our son (he's 21 now) left our house 2 years ago and both my husband and I were basket cases!! He joined the Army, went thru basic training, then (aghast!!) was sent to Iraq. He just got back (to good ole USA) late December and you can only imagine our happiness. He's our only son. But it doesn't matter where your children depart to.....it just hurts when they leave your house...how dare they grow up and try to have their own lives (lol). You have a beautiful daughter and you will adjust and with time it gets better. Beautiful post!!

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  25. Anonymous11:23 AM

    Children leaving is unbearable.

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  26. Anonymous5:20 PM

    so good when they come, and so very painful sometimes when they go back on their way.....
    always know that growing on their own path is
    a gift that mothers give them. we give the net to fall back on, but shoo them to pursue their own dreams.

    having four children doesn't ever replace that void when one is gone......we sit in waiting til the next
    visit will come.

    thanks for sharing anna-your words and heart always bring life to what i also feel.

    blessings

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  27. Your daughter is beautiful with that dark hair, and I too adore that jacket! My son will be 32 in a couple of days. He moved into a little house we had on our property when he was 17. He was so responsible. He did all the things he was suppose to do. Got up in the morning and off to school. Now he has his own home and works as a 1st class deputy for our sheriffs dept. He works nights and I worry when I think about it, but mostly I just have to give him to God. . It always hurts when you children are gone.

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  28. This photograph really touches my heart - i have a nine year old and I know that time is coming soon. Thanks for sharing it.

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  29. Beautiful image - our eldest left last week to go to University and my heart hurts...I feel like a mother hen with a chick out from under her wings....a friend once told me that we give our children two gifts...roots and wings xxx

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