Tuesday, September 27, 2011

At the Grocery (or New Levels of Boredom in Blog Reading)

mr.pushy.pants.

If I were a checkout clerk at a grocery store, I would be the annoying kind that strikes up a conversation about the combinations of things that people are buying. I know I would. I would try not too, of course, but clerk-me would not be able to resist. Because of this, I often wonder what our clerks and baggers think of some of our purchase lists.

household.herding

Very often any amount of weirdness in our choices is buried in a pile of keeping this family eating, and also very often buried in a pile of tag-along helpers when we do our shopping. We might be one of the only families of 8 that chooses to shop in large herds. The local Publix is just a hop, skip and a horse away from us, and right next to some of the kids favorite food, so we are often all here. Mostly split up all over the store, one in the bathroom, Jeff or I fetching a few from the cookie counter, there is always someone using the blood pressure machine at the pharmacy without permission and typically Roman likes to push the cart.

But when we spare ourselves that mess, I'll rattle off a coupla things and send Jeff out later at night. One recent favorite small list combo went like this: Melatonin, Benadryl, Beer, Ben & Jerry's. We are very proud of that one. If I were the clerk I would guess that we were trying to get a baby elephant to go to sleep. Nope, no elephant. Just us. Last night's mini list was comprised of: Diapers, Small Whole Pumpkin, Peanut Butter, Beer. While I am not sure what clerk-me would infer from that, I might start to notice the common denominator.

I am sorry about this post. Please do something more important and worth your time now.

Oh, but my recent favorite impulse-buy/plea from Isabela while we were being checked out was "Mom can we please buy Bridesmaids, it looks so funny !?"
(!!!!!)
"Absolutley not Bela, that is not appropriate for you.... or me."
(Which I know for sure now that I've seen it. Twice.)
"No mama, this one says 'Unrated', so its fine."

Ahhh, shopping. xoAnna

76 comments:

  1. Unrated! Ha HA HA! Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This brings back memories for me of shopping with my family when I was young. I was the youngest of four (therefore a family of six) and we would need to get two carts to hold all of the stuff. Those are great memories. If one of us went missing you could always find us in the cereal aisle.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, yes: unrated = family movie! Love it!
    Not boring, Anna Maria. Just life in the grocery lane. I put up what I worried might be too boring a post for public viewing. But I cannot regret it. Somehow it helps to get these *voices* out of our heads, yeah?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh the joys of being a mother! I hate going through the check out on those late night runs when we have picked up a package of lettuce (which is the real reason we ran out so that we could make a salad for an activity the next day) along with a dozen doughnuts (because they are very cheap at night and it's a once in awhile treat) 8 candy bars (because they are on a really good sale and you have to buy in quantities of 4) and 2 liters of soda. "Yes, yes we do mainline sugar, thank you very much. The lettuce helps it all to go through." ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's possible that you'd get fired for commenting on people's purchases! I work in a library, and I think we're technically not supposed to comment on the checkout items. On the other hand, if you get a feeling that you're with a friendly person, it's better to talk!
    Reminds me of Patience, a character in "Henry Poole is Here" - good movie.

    ReplyDelete
  6. If I were the checker when you all went through, I'd probably be more surprised at the things a herd of 8 managed NOT to put in the cart. I'm so impressed with your one grocery cart. Thanks for the laughs today.

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOL, maybe my favorite blog post. Anna Maria is just like us, she goes grocery shopping too! :) I totally miss Publix now that I've moved back to Chicago. Luckily I have Trader Joe's to make up for all the other crappy grocery chains here.

    Enjoy the beer! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. i love how your lists all include "beer". oh how i wish we could purchase alcohol in our supermarkets, it would make for such fun mini lists... and for way more fun after shopping too!

    ReplyDelete
  9. This post made me laugh. I worked at Target a few years back for some extra cash. I had to bite my tongue when an old man bought 5 boxes of Vagisil. Some things are better left unknown!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi not boring for me at all. Love seeing inside supermarkets in other countries, especially in the US. See you thought you were boring

    ReplyDelete
  11. I needed a good laugh! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Time well spent for me - thanks for the good laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  13. you know, it just never matters what you're talking about, it's always a joy to read....how do ya' do that? :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love this post. It made me laugh. yes, I often look in my cart and wonder what someone would make of my purchases (assuming anyone was interested). I also appreciate chatty clerks who comment on my purchase. I truly like unexpected grocery store chats.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I thought for sure we were the only large family that grocery shops together :) Nice to know we're not alone!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hahahaha - There's only 6 of us but same here on fetching someone from the cookie counter and weird combos in the cart. I always feel I need to explain everything except for the beer and huge things of toilet paper :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. You made me laugh, with your lists! I use Fairy washing powder to launder the daily mounds of washing my family supply me with, so my lists often include the words "large fairy" and i shuffle down the aisles muttering " I need a large fairy" and chuckling to myself!!! Keeps me entertained!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ahhh, Publix...we looove Publix. Especially the cookie counter--I work hard to get all my shopping done in the amount of time it takes my 2-year-old to nibble up one cookie.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I wonder what clerk-you would have thought of me a few weeks ago when I bought beer and . . . a pregnancy test. I know. Worst combo ever.

    ReplyDelete
  20. oh, I've so done that.

    ReplyDelete
  21. this is one of my favorite posts too- laughed so hard at the baby elephant!! My boy is named Jeff too and I have sent him out many times with lists that made us both laugh. He is so good natured about it- as long as beer or wine are part of the needed inventory. Keep em coming Anna- you always make me smile!

    ReplyDelete
  22. rachael2:30 PM

    oh, anna, how you do make me laugh....

    ReplyDelete
  23. You're hilarious (and lovely). More posts on grocery shopping please!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous3:53 PM

    Great post, as always. I chuckled as I remember the vacation when I asked my single cousin and his new girlfriend to pick up 3 things we had forgotten when we packed for our cottage in the woods annual vacation where each of our children were conceived: baby formula (6 month old and my milk supply was languishing), beer (for obvious reasons) and condoms (to prevent baby #6 with a 6 month old on up to 12 year old at home). No explanation needed!! Thank you for making me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  25. After they've grown and flown you'll realize grocery shopping is not nearly as much fun. Enjoy each crazy, hilarious, chaotic moment.

    ReplyDelete
  26. This absolutely hilarious! Even as a mom of three -one who thankfully can't run off and go anywhere- shopping is stressful.. I think one or six kids doesn't make any real difference, it can still be crazy and chaotic!

    And you have to give Isabela some credit for logic.. even if she wasn't completely aware of what 'unrated' means in the movie world...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anna Maria, I think you have such a great mix of 'useless' and 'useful'. I love that we get a window into your world and you're not just giving us information or showing your handiwork. It's such a skill in blogging, and it inspires me to keep doing the same when I'm tempted just become another sewing blogger. Thanks! :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. I Love It! So much fun! Thanks for putting a smile on my face this evening. It was a thoroughly charming glimpse of your day-to-day life. Thanks for sharing that part of your family with us.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I absolutely loved this post! Really made me smile, thanks (-:
    Bridesmaids, beer and Ben & Jerry's - sounds perfect!

    ReplyDelete
  30. You always make me smile! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  31. No boredom here!
    I love and am amazed at your ability to do the shopping like that AND capture pictures of it!
    Deserves a beer. :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. I can SO relate to this post! It made me laugh! We have 7 and almost always go in a herd. Makes for interesting chatter with almost everyone we pass. Lathough today we had only our 3 youngest and darn if that wasn't more work! they are 5, 2 and 10 months, and without the biggers there it was physically much more demanding.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Wow, you are brave. I have trouble shopping with just my three (of course they are all under 7, so that might be why).

    I love the photo of all of you in the cereal aisle. Priceless.

    What a hilarious post. I'm so glad this is "normal" big family life (we have a fourth on the way and I'm a bit terrified, as I think these days that tips us over into the big family category)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Mariah in Montana9:16 PM

    You crack me up! How about 2 mamas, 8 kids, 3 carts and a two hour drive just to get to Wal Mart...the joys of living in Montana! Thanks for keeping it real (living the dream as we say! ).

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh this was just what I needed after a long stressful day...giggles and a big smile as I dig in to Ben and Jerry's and wonder how a beer would go with it..

    ReplyDelete
  36. My favorite post , thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I'm glad someone else buys weird combinations of things at the supermarket. I had to explain my purchases to the stock person in the cold section and the checkout chick yesterday.

    You are very brave to all shop together. I go to great lengths to avoid that. It's funny who'll you run into when two of your children are rolling around on the floor fighting at the checkout.

    ReplyDelete
  38. throw a pregnancy test in with the beer...just for fun :-)

    Last Friday I sent my husband out with this list:

    lice killing shampoo kit
    diet coke

    ReplyDelete
  39. I would hardly be able to help myself. I do get comments, "You eat healthy," or, when buying rhubarb: "Is this red celery?"

    ReplyDelete
  40. Laughing out loud at the "unrated".
    Really enjoyed this post.

    ReplyDelete
  41. You ALWAYS make me laugh - such clever wit :) I needed it this morning, thanks for that!

    ReplyDelete
  42. I don't think I've ever commented before, but this totally made my morning. And I loved bridesmaids and WANT that unrated copy!

    ReplyDelete
  43. LOOOOOVE this post!!
    Now I will do something worthwhile...maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I've been getting my veggies,fruits, eggs, and milk from a community supported agriculture group for months now, which means that almost nothing I buy from the grocery is actually fresh or unprocessed. My shopping cart looks like the unhealthiest conglomeration ever! And I frequently wonder what the baggers and check out people must think!

    ReplyDelete
  45. I had that exact same thought tonight while at Walmart! Glad to know that unrated means safe for kids:) Hahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  46. You are a very funny lady,

    Best wishes!

    ReplyDelete
  47. That was a fun post well worth wasting time to read it! I have five children and have made many trips to the store with all in tow. It never fails to turn heads! We are out of the diaper phase, but the beer remains a staple...:)

    ReplyDelete
  48. I come from a similarly large family and my mother would often have to drag us all to the grocery store with her. I was a ballerina and couldn't resist those wide-open aisles for practicing my leaps and twirls. I literally could. not. just walk down the aisle.

    My brothers each had their own quirks (one would see how efficiently he could fit all the groceries into the card like a kind of grocery-cart tetris). But, as boys, they had a level of ornery that I lacked - they once waited until my mother unpacked her entire cart before slipping a package of condoms in with her groceries. She was so flumuxed she could barely get out words to say "those aren't mine!"

    I'm sure there were many people who looked at the group of us all dancing our way through the store and thought "Oh you poor woman" but as a grown-up (okay, sort of)... I have such fond grocery store memories.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Awesome blog post! I work at a used book store and when I'm on the register I do that usually in my head though... especially the men who are buying hunting/sports books and trashy romance paperbacks. lol. :)

    ReplyDelete
  50. I absolutely adore this and you. We have four kids and often feel like life is a constant roller coaster with no jumping off points (not that I Really want to, just momentarily). Your writings make me smile. Hope to see you at Market this October!!

    ReplyDelete
  51. I don't know all I heard was your making pie.....yummmmmm

    ReplyDelete
  52. HAHAHAHA! This post slays me. Thanks for the laughs - heaven knows I needed it today!

    ReplyDelete
  53. So hilarious! Our list would include wine instead of beer. :) My husband started grocery shopping for our family 23 years ago when our oldest was just a baby. I am so so so spoiled!! (He also has put gas in my auto for the past 26 years.) 23 years later I make a list and and my Prince Charming runs through the grocery getting just what I need for meals, etc. Once a month or so I make myself go to the grocery to stock up on things I forget about.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Anonymous10:55 AM

    " One recent favorite small list combo went like this: Melatonin, Benadryl, Beer, Ben & Jerry's. We are very proud of that one. "
    Oh honey, so funny. :)Thanks for the smile.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Anonymous6:42 PM

    you are very funny and write as excellent as everything else you do!!!

    ReplyDelete
  56. I woke up still kind of in a slump, yesterday was not so great. I read your post and have been laughing ever since. My favorite clerk comment was when I was pregnant and waiting in line at a fast food place. The girl says to me "Wow, are you having twins?" She probably would have gotten in trouble if I hadn't started laughing. I only have one child. No twins. Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Kimberly V10:02 PM

    You say stop reading because it's not worth my time, but it's these funny posts that are so worth it to me because they make me laugh my head off!! They are so real and every day that we can all relate, maybe to a lesser degree for me since I only have two children, but relate nontheless. I love your writing. I am sure you are even funnier and more-fun in person.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Just stumbled across your blog and I love it.

    And I wanted to say that I would so totally also be that cashier to comment on odd combinations. Every time I check out, I analyze what I'm buying and what people must think. Then, I look around and wonder about other people's purchases.

    Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Beer. And the movie Bridesmaids. Two things that should be on most shopping lists. Thanks for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Hermes Birkinhandbags are much less expensive than the original handbags, it’s a trend to let Hermes Kelly handbags approach our ordinary life. Hermes Bags make much more and more ordinary individuals become Hermes Scarf and comfy. 2945abc45 1012

    ReplyDelete
  61. On a quick trip to the store before a camping trip I needed 3 things: chocolate bars for the smores, beer for the husband and tampax. The clerk actually broke out laughing as my three items rolled down the belt! She said, "wow, you've got it bad."

    ReplyDelete
  62. You crack me up! I think my husband is one of those runs now! :)

    ReplyDelete
  63. We make the family of 8 quest to the grocery store too. It goes much like you described. I loved this post.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I just had to comment here -- I was a grocery store clerk for a couple of years and, being that I have "never met a stranger," striking up conversations with the patrons was never a problem for me - I loved my job! (Weird, I know). My favorite "guess-the-reason-they-are-buying-this-combination-of-items" customer was one morning at about 5:00AM (it was a 24 hour store). A man dressed in hot pink spandex (not joking), carrying a sparkly gold handbag bought KY Jelly and strawberry jam. Normally, I would ask but, needless to say, this time I did not ... some things are better left unsaid! (Like possibly, this post).
    Your Ben & Jerry's run would have thoroughly entertained me!

    ReplyDelete
  65. Great post! Keep it up the good work and also keep posting.

    ReplyDelete
  66. hilarious! we take all 4 shopping with us and it can end in tears! I prefer to shop with just my baby! so much easier!

    corrie:)

    ReplyDelete
  67. Loved Loved Loved this post. It makes you seem real, not a material goddess! I love looking in the supermarket at what the person in front has on the counter waiting to be zapped and thinking "what are they buying that for ....". I also am part of a craft collective in my hometown and when people come in (small town, just off a highway) asking them where they have come from and where they are going ... inspiring!

    ReplyDelete
  68. web tasarımı , ureticy << thanks v for wandetta .d

    ReplyDelete