Wednesday, February 02, 2011

On Boys and Danger

new.skate.shoes

Eeech. Jeff just emailed me a picture of a scaly, little, skinny ankle, with a surgery scar, some inkpen marks (from surgery I guess) and what looks the bulge of screw heads near the surface. The subject line was "Nicolas wants you to see this". Of course he does. He loves flaunting anything scary or disgusting in my face. They are at the orthopedist right now getting the cast off in favor of I'm not sure what- waiting to see if it'll be a splint or another cast. I feel like I'm gonna lose my Luna bar. But I don't think its because I'm grossed out. I think its because I'm scared that he's actually healing. I want him to heal. I want him to heal. You know what he'll want to do after he's healed right? Right. Eeechblechdahblunchech.

boy

I took these pictures just a few days after he got the cast. Mopey boy. As sad as its been, there has been safety in that little leg cage, at least for me. I have had so much sympathy for this kid. He's practically had to swat me away a few times when I've tried to help him too much. He has handled being off his feet and not skating so much better than I would have guessed. Watching him struggle to get used to the cast was hard. We've had lots of conversations about risk taking. My dad contributes to that conversation like this: "He has to stop that skateboarding business!" I know where he's coming from. Its a conflict. Nicolas does not dig team sports. Nicolas is strong, creative and very, very coordinated, despite what these portraits evidence. And the thing is, is that he has an unbelievably high tolerance for pain. I love and hate that. Nicolas loves to skate. Watching him not skate is not fun. But here's the thing that I think is unique to this type of sport and wears on my weary heart: it is a practice of learning to do dangerous things. And as good as you can get doing dangerous things (and he has) they are still dangerous things. What's worse, the better you get the more dangerous things you try. And then your mother falls over from exhaustion.

talker

And then call your friends to tell them about your wicked injuries and pretend that you don't really enjoy the attention.



And while you're off your feet, you get better at making skate videos of your friends at your favorite local skate park.

And then your mom blogs about it because she is so proud of you, even if most of your bravery is exemplified by scaring the living daylights out of her on a hourly basis.

The other thing. About boys. And girls. And danger. We've had four broken bones in this family. Only one of those was earned by actually doing something. Nicolas was trying to get better at something that he loves. The other kids were, uhhh, playing *butt blaster, jumping off a bed, and swinging from a tree. And while you can be skeptical about a future in professional skateboarding, I don't know any professional butt-blasters, bed-jumpers, or tree swingers.

Skate on, Nicolas.
I just wrote myself into a tear. Sniff.
And a laugh. Ha.
xo, Mom

*Butt blaster is when one person lays on their back, feet in the air forming a seat that the second person sits in. When the person laying down bends their knees all the way back then shoots the other across the room with a forward thrust of their feet, a butt has effectively been blasted.
*It is not recommended.
*It is incredibly fun.

83 comments:

  1. What in the heck is butt blaster? Lol...

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  2. What a lovely post! I'm sure my mother could identify with this very much. I'm the only girl with four brothers! And they definitely were all hurt "doing something". I had my own share of hurts, but it always seemed to be because there was some bigger boy who ran into me and caused my pain. lol. But it was never one of my brothers!

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  3. You are such a brave mother. Truly. Nothing says it better than this line: "You know what he'll want to do after he's healed right? Right. Eeechblechdahblunchech."

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  4. Oh how I can relate to this post. My son is exactly the same. He LOVES to skate and snowboard. He is very good at it, he started his stunts as a toddler and is 18 now. I have had to survive broken wrists and collar bones, I have barfed over it!But how can I stop him from doing what he loves? He does enjoy team sports and is completly misserable if he isn't flying along at high speeds and making me sick with worry. Oh how I feel your pain Mama!

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  5. I'm totally in agreement with you...butt blasters are fun! I can remember my mom running in to stop us from launching each other down the hallway! Now being a mom I can totally understand her panic!

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  6. Anonymous11:20 AM

    I too can relate to your post. My son is 17 and has been skateboarding and snowboarding for as long as I can remember. Just PLEASE make sure your son (and daughters for that matter) wear helmets! My son suffered a very nasty concussion a couple of years ago from a fall while skateboarding without a helmet. Not a fun experience and it forced him to quit playing lacrosse (something else he enjoyed) because of the risk of "second impact syndrome". I wish the professionals boarders would emphasize the importance of wearing helmets...then maybe kids wouldn't be so averse to the idea.

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  7. we are helmet wearers!!!

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  8. Anonymous11:27 AM

    This is a great post. I know all of the above;) As a mum, the worst was Imagining an injury about to happen and when it did, trying to keep them off the ankle, knee, toe, concussion (mostly basketball) until they had properly healed. I didn't always manage!

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  9. I'm so glad you explained butt blasting...

    It is my take that boys are made to crave adventure and the edge of danger. There is a book, "Wild at Heart" that is a Christian take on this nature. My man says I must read it to "get it" more.

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  10. I had to laugh at 'butt blaster'. My oldest brother is 10 years older than me, and boy could he blast me! We finally stopped playing that game when I landed rather painfully on my tailbone. No bones were broken, but I didn't sit for a few days!

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  11. Oh butt blaster! I played that as a child too. One time my sister was blasting me off the pullout sofa to a pile of pillows on the ground. I didn't quite make it to the pillows and instead landed on the metal bar at the end of the pullout. I honest to god thought I had broken my back and was dying at the time. My mom's response: "go lie down, you'll be fine". I guess she was right.

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  12. CindyG12:00 PM

    I feel ya! I have a kid that has xray pics displayed proudly on his wall, one with a bone sticking "out" of his arm, then the xray with the screws and plates (yes, skateboard). One day he told me "scars are like memories on your skin" then laughed. His twin sister just recovered from a fractured back! They know us by name in the cast room at the Bone and Joint clinic. Daughter thought she was ill, she said, after I run 5 miles, I keep coughing! I tried not to laugh, but I did anyway. Your boy is "beautiful/handsome" and is wearing a "rockin'" shoe on the "good leg".

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  13. I will not be telling my kids about Butt Blaster because I am sure it would result in injury. Around here we have Rats in a Cave consisting of our two kids under the covers while my husband attacks them with the lights off which results in multiple sprains.
    My son sounds so much like yours and has recently taken up snowboarding with a passion. I have a feeling I will one day be posting about a broken limb, so far we've only had stitches to deal with.
    ps We all wear helmets now which my husband complained about until it saved him from a head injury!

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  14. I don't know you, in person, but can you do me a favor and make me re-read this post in 6 years when my two boys are 7.5 and 9.5 and I'm freaking out over safety and blechy-ness. Thanks. Cause I would like to get teary over it all once again, in the future.

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  15. Love love love your writing style.
    Thanks for the heads up on what's to come with my two sons... yeesh.

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  16. Oh, brave mama. My one-and-a-half year-old is obsessed with watching skateboarding, making his Little People guys skateboard, and pretending to do it himself. It's hilarious, and seeing this post makes me a little less scared that he might be into it when he's older. If Anna Maria can do it, I can. :)

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  17. Oh boy.
    Dangerous things...
    How many times have I uttered these words: "Knock it off guys... I am way too tired (busy, sleepy etc...) to drive to the ER right now."
    Courage, Anna Maria!
    And I love that you recognize that a little danger can be necessary, so you give your blessing. What a beautiful mom you are.

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  18. I don't normally post but I felt so bad for you when I read this blog. I HAVE been in your shoe. I KNOW how you are feeling. My son is now 24 years old. He is still alive but still doing thing that scare me to death. And those are the things I know about, I hate to think about what he is doing that I don't know about.Hang in there and say a lot of prayers!
    Have you ever heard the song, Just Like Me, by Brad Paisley? My husband and I swear that song was written for us. It is a great song.

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  19. That's a great video! Thank God they're all wearing helmets! :) I can't imagine being brave enough to let my child skateboard... luckily she's only two so that's not an option. I'll get there when she's old enough....

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  20. Ahh--memories..it's a wonder mine made it through childhood..but now they have kids..and they say..be careful..stop that..someone will get hurt..and they've been to the emergency room a time or two.

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  21. beth ellen1:07 PM

    I have a son who plays ice hockey and 2 girls who ride or have ridden horses for years. If they play hard, you will probably end up getting to know the orthopedists in your area....but I would rather have my kids out there living than playing nothing but video games!

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  22. I've got bad news for you...organised sports aren't much safer. My parents who got saddled with two tomboys (which may be the worst creation ever -- according to my grandmother) got to deal with head injuries, broken ribs, bruised lungs, stitches, sprained ankles/wrists/surgeries, dislocated shoulders/hips, and a very fun broken nose. And all of that was from basketball, volleyball, swimming, track-and-field, cross-country, softball, and lacrosse. That didn't include all the stupid stuff we did in the name of fun :)

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  23. We had a conversation about this in our family just yesterday as my husband was leaving for a heliski trip. I know of too many wives who forbid their husbands to do "risky" activities in an attempt to keep them free from any harm. And of course the same goes with a lot of parents who try to protect their children to the point of not allowing them to do things they love. I'm pretty good about letting my husband live life, but have to work really hard to encourage my daughters to go off ski jumps and down runs that I think are beyond their abilities. I'm terrified for my son to get bigger and be adventurous! It's so hard! Thanks for sharing your story about Nicolas. With six kids of all ages, you must have been through just about everything!

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  24. Candace! I know, so true- I guess I mentioned it to point out that, without that or skating he would waste away in front of the computer or television! Not an option here :)

    xo,Anna

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  25. SarahRacheal1:46 PM

    From experience -
    broken collar bone, dislocated shoulder and a very badly sprained wrist all in one go. When my mum (out of utter panic) banned me from skating I did it anyway! I'm now 30 and still enjoy it.
    So rather he's as safe as he can be, letting you know where he is, with the possibility of injury than telling lies and leaving you even more worried.
    As a side note I am a mum too and my daughters love of horse riding scares the bones out of me! She is so little and they are SO BIG!!! but sometimes we swallow the fear and mysteriously it turns into pride :D

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  26. my son is only 15 months old- I dont want to think about broken bones yet...

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  27. I broke my arm (a green stick fracture) at age 7 playing "butt blaster," except we called it "rocket." I still remember sitting at the dinner table, with ice on my arm, crying when anyone mentioned that maybe they should take my visibly broken arm to the emergency room. To this day, I can't believe my parents waited until after dinner. I don't think it even occurred to anyone that it was dangerous -- just fun! But the game was banned after that.

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  28. I'm so glad we're not the only big family that plays butt buster. What a relief!

    And yes, it's really fun!

    xx, apphia

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  29. So much like my brother was. I recall the full leg cast at about that age (snowboarding) and then later on the fun of having both wrists casted. Just because you break one wrist skateboarding does not apparently mean you should stop trying new tricks.

    He's crazy, but he's always been braver than mean, which is no bad thing.

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  30. I have the same issue with my 5 year old. Doesn't care about football or soccer or baseball but riding a mountain bike as fast as he can is at the top of his list. Catching air, even better. Scaring the living daylights out of mom is apparently the best.

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  31. Ashley P2:46 PM

    Augh! My cousin gave my younger brother, who was 5 at the time, a concussion while playing butt blaster. I didn't know anyone else knew that game:) My brother is now 21 and perfectly healthy.

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  32. If it makes you feel better, I used to skate all the time when I was in fifth grade (1977-78) and we had no helmets or pads and though I put holes in my jeans, I never got seriously injured. I also would jump moguls on ski slopes, ski off the trails (on the side of hills) in Middle School. Now: I'm the safest person around. I think I got it all out of my system when I was younger. I guess it's all part of growing up and it's better to be brave and try things (though I would wear a helmet now!!!) than to sit inside playing video games all day. I am also female so I don't think it's a boy thing. Now I have a son but he's not as daring as I was!! (but my daughter is!)

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  33. Anonymous3:44 PM

    I'm with the grandfather on this one, kind of. He should stop that skateboarding business & get into the movie making business! Great video. Prayers for healing.

    --Donna

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  34. we had broken collar bone (soccer tackle from his brother), broken finger (slipped in the hall), broken toe (kicked the coffee table playing Wii) AND a broken fore arm that required titanium rods for two months (fall off one of those two wheels scooter thingies)... in 14 months.

    I hear ya. I hear ya.

    But we wouldn't change any of him.

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  35. y sister and I used to play butt blaster all the time growing up! My daughter recently broke her arm flying off of a bike. Now she is scared to get back on which is comforting and sad to me. I think she will get back on one day but I know what you mean!

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  36. OMG! I know just how you feel! That cast keeps them safe from harm for awhile. I had very mixed feelings about my son's cast coming off. He also has a very high pain threshold. A month after his finger break/surgery, I fell and thought I busted 2 fingers. Cried like a baby (I was mid-move & selling the old house, by way of an excuse. I needed a good cry.) He just sat in the ER with a crooked finger wondering what the fuss was about. I will never live that down.

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  37. So, is it another cast or a splint?

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  38. Eek. M husband broke his ankle playing soccer a few years ago, and ended up with the plate, pins, etc. Not fun. I have forbid him from playing any more, though I think he's a little relieved too b/c I think he's scared to get out there. :P
    It's tough being a mom! I give you so much credit for acknowledging that this is something that he loves, and supporting him despite your fears.

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  39. Laure6:29 PM

    I am a mother of three grown sons, so I understand. Take a deep breath, Anna, and only peek out from between the fingers of your hands covering your eyes. He needs to skate on.

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  40. Anonymous7:05 PM

    Donna, there is absolutely no way I could possibly stop skating if I did I would just cry myself to sleep every night. And you were blessed with a right mind, Laure, thanks!

    -Nicolas(a.k.a. the guy who just got out of his chains I mean his cast)

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  41. Oh go for it Anonymous, Mom's get used to holding their breath for long amounts of time! And then as someone said earlier all that fear turns to pride!

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  42. With 7 kids I have spent my fair share in ERs, outpatient surgery and Dr offices for concussions, stitches, torn ligaments, stitches, deviated septum repair (my oldest daughter had her nose broken twice from competitive swimming!), and more stitches as well as the usual middle of the night high fevers, severe "I can't breathe!!" bronchitis, sore throats, pink eye.... what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
    I guess it's payback for daring my little brother to jump out of the tree, ripping my foot open on coral after Dad warned me to leave my sneakers on, getting rolled on-kicked by- thrown off my horse, crashing my bike because my big brother dared me to jump the curb.

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  43. Butt blaster! lol You are a great mom for supporting his passion despite how it makes you feel. :)

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  44. Anonymous9:16 PM

    Please read the interview of The Tailor NYC at http://eleventhcommandmentblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/artist-profile-tailor.html. The artist expresses so beautifully what skateboarding did for his creativity. Check out "thetailornyc.com" and "outreprojects.com" for more of this little rebel's street art. Never question the safety of your son by seeing him out the door and saying "Be careful." Instead try, "Have fun."

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  45. Thank you for enlightening me on a butt blaster. I will refrain from telling my son of this trick... I dread the day his time comes. He scares me to death and he's only 7. We've already had one E.R. trip due to a split chin that they super glued shut (wonderful stuff), and that was one trip too many!

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  46. I'm so glad I know what butt blasting is now....it certainly gave me a laugh! Hopefully that's the last of broken body parts for your children.

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  47. That's really rough.

    Not sure if this is a scarier option... but I highly recommend whitewater kayaking for kids who want to take risks and do something cool. I am even teaching a couple of skateboarding teenage boys right now. They are still skating, but have fallen in love with whitewater kayaking, and are much less likely to hurt themselves in the water (I think, but hey, obviously biased).

    Cheers!

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  48. this is a great post...and I am NOT telling my three kids about butt blasters :)

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  49. Daisy5:11 AM

    My 35 year old husband still skateboards and is constantly getting comments about how it's time to grow up, stop spending money on toys.... and I sit at home in the evening when he's at the skate park (after he's put the babies to bed) and have a little panic attack at the sound of every siren I hear. But the thing is he loves it. It makes him happy. It keeps him fit and fends off his spare tyre. He looks so comfortable on his board and it blows away the stress of his day, it enables him to be a better husband and father and I'd rather he skate than many of the other pastimes men get up to after work!

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  50. My husband (who is 36yrs young) has been a dedicated skateboarder for a large amount of his life (since he was 12 or so). He still now takes risks, jumps higher, throws himself harder against that skatepaek concrete. He has never once had a broken bone (though has hada few dislocated limbs and many visits to emergency department). I imagine that he will only quit skating when his body gives up and doesn't allow him to push any harder. Our two young children can both skate, and despite the fear I encourage them to continue skating too.
    Sometimes people trip over and break their leg doing the most mundane and boring thing (crossing a road), or the most natural thing (climbing a tree), or from having the most fun ever (skating)!
    I'm thankful he's not one of those crazy motorcycle daredevil performers he watches on extreme sport shows (when he's not skating)....

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  51. I used to work in the extreme sports industry (BMX side of it) and though dangerous, I've never met a more committed group of athletes in my life. I can remember sitting at lunch watching the boys ride the half pipe and thinking- oh my lord, I'd mangle myself. I would get nervous for them when they tried something new- and I'm just the friend/coworker! But, despite the stigma it carries, it's a beautiful artform and I'll encourage my daughter to give BMX/skating a shot. I can say that landing even the simplest of tricks for the first time gives you such a rush of accomplishment and pride!

    Keep supporting him and encouraging him. Nicolas- keep at it. You'll find the more you dedicate your time to it, the easier it becomes (and the less injuries you end up with in the end!)

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  52. As a mom to 3 boys and a mom who has survived broken ankles (trampoline) Football for 2 boys, a 7 year old who is starting baseball and football, bike riding, long boarding, snow boarding etc I am so THRILLED that you take it in stride and let him be a boy. How many mom's coddle, control and smother their boys because they are afraid they will get hurt? I say them be who they are wired to be! Read for adventure! They are active crazy creatures who love the thrill of being as close to the edge as they can. Thanks for getting that and just remember keep calm and carry on! :-)

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  53. Oh man. You've described exactly how my SIL feels about her oldest son. He is Nicholas a few years ago.
    (And how I expect to be as my youngest daughter grows up.)

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  54. my son broke his arm playing football and the other skateboarding......at almost 21 youd never know it.... broken bones heal. (I also recommend the book "wild at heart". A very good read.) I would hate to have tamed the boy out of them.....

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  55. My son (who is cautious by nature) is into skateboarding too. My hubby grew up with a half pipe in his backyard!! But interestingly he did not get hurt often because back in "the olden" days" they were not watching pros and "just plain stupid" people (you tube) doing so many dangerous tricks and think they needed to do the same. Don't get me started...! I am glad my son likes the x-games but young men think they are simple don't 'break". I imagine the time in a cast may make your son realize a few things on his own. I do feel your pain.

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  56. Thank you for explaining 'butt blaster'. I truly was wondering. I only have a sister, and we did not participate in butt blasting activities, but we did another version where the stomach was balanced on the feet of the person laying on their back and we held our arms out & pretended to fly. Lots of fun, but I must admit, butt blaster sounds a bit more exciting! My son is in to skateboarding too (almost 10), and I hate it!! He has recently let skateboarding take a backseat to hockey, and I'm not sure if I'm happy about that or not. At least with hockey you have a lot of protective equipment! Uhhhh, right?!

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  57. Sending wishes for a speedy recovery. I've been there and know what he is going through. Tell him to be sure to follow all the dr's advice. Important for proper healing.

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  58. I thought it was hysterical how that boy's helmet flew right off mid-air without even a crash! Isn't that helmet supposed to be secured around his chin?!
    I dunno how ya do it, Mom!

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  59. Butt blaster! We used to call it the chair game when I was a kid. No, I'm not going to tell you how long ago that was. But it was essentially the same premise except the sittee would be subjected to the "legs" of the chair breaking down and had to quickly "nail" in supports before the "chair" broke down completely. Thank you for bringing this memory back to me. It makes me happy.

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  60. My youngest son broke one arm twice, the other arm once, one leg once, fell out of his bunkbed and had to have stitches and loved climbing to the highest limbs of the tallest trees. I am lucky he survived into adulthood. He's still a risk taker.

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  61. He's lovely and you should be incredibly proud of him. But I have two sons and I absolutely get you. Completely

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  62. Way to be. I think skateboarding is dangerous (likely to cause broken bones) but not generally life-threatening like football where the goal is often to have head-on collisions with other people. In many ways it is the lesser of the evils for boy activities. And it's artistic and graceful and cooperative and encourages film skills to boot! What a thing!

    I have a four year old, believe it or not, who is an avid skateboarder. I think you are my future.

    We haven't had any broken bones yet but then....all three of our boys are under four. Heh. My time cometh.

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  63. Having known and loved many a skater boy, there is indeed professional hope!
    However that still doesnt stop the broken bones, scary crashes and cringe worth antics (caught on tape of course, because that'll be great in a video!) or the nervous feeling one gets in the pit of their stomach watching it all...
    I wish you nerves of steel! It's gonna be an amazing ride!

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  64. Oh my! I have 2 boys, very adventurous boys! They're now 4 and 7, knock on wood, no stitches or broken anything... yet! I am dreading the day! But boys will be boys, right?! eek!
    Thank you for explaining what a butt-blaster is! LOL!
    hugs, margie

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  65. oh yes....skateboarding AND snowboarding.....both of my boys love that stuff, too! always a worry...always. but that is how us moms are wired...right? hope your handsome boy feels better soon....
    LOL...butt blaster.....ha! that could be a good jeanie craig diet plan!

    xo
    becky

    PS: i am loving all of your floral art on the wall!!!! so pretty!

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  66. I broke my sister's arm while playing what you call "butt blaster".

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  67. So cute. I don't have any kids yet, but for some reason I still keep hoping I'll have boys and not girls. Somehow skatboarding and broken bones seems less scary to me than barbie dolls.... I don't know...

    Way to go at being able to acknowledge the fears and yet allow him to keep doing what he wants to do. :)

    xoxo
    Janee
    yellowbirdyellowbeard.blogspot.com

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  68. nice to know my boys aren't the only crazy ones playing 'butt blaster' (except here, 'unsuspecting' brothers are coersed into sitting on a 'chair')

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  69. Anonymous9:14 PM

    Oh how I know this oh so well. Glad it is just not me ! Tell him good filming---I have seen many of my 3 boys films. My boys have permanant elbow bumps and hip bumps that I don't think will ever go away. They LOVE what they do, and no matter what words of wisdom, fear, or caution I give them-------they'll never stop skating. Be strong ! Don't you wish they would just sit down and crochet or something?????? :)

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  70. I love it that the two mid thirties guys are still skateboarding. My 48 (soon to be 49) year old husband has recently returned to it - but no flat land for him, downhill only thanks! He has the leathers and helmet which I am thankful for, but I'm also glad I only have daughters after watching the videos he takes!

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  71. The post was awesome! And, well, I get it. Two boys went skiing last weekend. The day ended in an ambulance ride to University hospital and a concussion. All is well, but the main consensus as we sat in the emergency room was simply that up until the paramedic part it was a *perfect* ski day.

    *Sigh*

    Furthermore, I have actually received calls on my cell phone that began "Mom, don't worry, we cleaned up all the blood, but what should we do to get Evan's head to stop bleeding?" Yep. Boys and danger.

    I think I'll keep butt blaster to myself.

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  72. Anonymous1:55 PM

    Butt Blasters... we called them "Rocket Rides", and I broke my right arm doing them, about forty years ago. Your post brought back memories for this mama!

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  73. My brother "butt blasted" me into our piano when I was in 4th grade. I had THE WORST BLACK EYE ever. It took 3 weeks to completely look normal! Good times.

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  74. Keara7:31 PM

    I myself am a professional butt blasterey. (The person who get's the butt blaster ride.) I was the youngest in the family so I was automatically given the position since I flew the farthest. It's probably the best memory of my childhood. My mother would not agree. Apparently holes in the wall from your children are not looked highly upon.

    I am 24 and now a mother of three boys. They are butt blaster's in training...

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  75. I have one of those - artistic, creative, amazing, skateboarder, and filmer of all things skateboard. I completely understand!

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  76. oh ya. I have to say. . . I agree with the helmet comment. My son hated me for it, but the helmet was an absolute requirement. It has saved him so many times.
    He did this fantastic pen/ink drawing of himself "the loser wearing a helmet." Wish I could post it, but he would kill me.
    Today, he is a 19 yr. old Mormon missionary, serving in Vina Del Mar Chile - loving the service and the people. Alive and not brain-damaged.

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  77. hilarious... i mean sad.... i mean, what we mothers go through!

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  78. While he recupes. . . is there a good Y swim team in your area? My elder son has found it to be a great way to work incredibly hard, set goals, have fun, etc, etc, while NOT breaking bones (yay!). A friend's son, on his FOURTH broken collarbone AND knee surgery, discovered swimming to offer a similar haven. It's a team sport, but NOT a team sport. Just a thought--hope the dr news is good.

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  79. Hi!
    I just found this Etsy shop (linked from their blog) and thought something in this shop would make a great gift for your son (at some point : ).
    http://www.etsy.com/shop/sevenply
    It's all recycled skateboards!
    Hope he's feeling better.
    Shosh

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