Thursday, December 31, 2009
I seldom sit down to review a year, other than making conversation. But this has been quite a year. And I know that its been quite a year because I began saying that around June- this has been quite a year. I am so grateful to have this space to share the biggest or littlest things in my life and work and I'm downright unworthy of all the encouragement and inspiration I am able to find in your support. For that, thank you so so much. And if you don't mind, if for nothing more than my own tiny benefit, here is a personal, albeit somewhat scattered, review right off the cuff....
::My mother's lymphoma was declared in remission. A fact upon facts that I never managed the capacity to talk about here. We all struggled through, no one more than her, and the whole ordeal has just made me feel like I've joined the human race...joined the common suffering of fear, joined the common elation of completely loving.
::I experienced the first slow splitting of fibers in the delicate netting around my oldest girl as she wades through college applications and does obnoxiously independent things, like having dinner with someone other than her family. What!? Sigh.
::We welcomed our beautiful Roman into the family. My deepest, most mother-ish worries of not having the ability to love another as much as those that I already love was...once again...proven wrong....ridiculously wrong~ the instant he quickly and strongly thrust himself into his own world and gave us a lusty newborn cry to sing away my worries, I was proven wrong. And I cried. And my husband cried.
::We had the first and last family Christmas together in which all 6 children live permanently under our roof...they live with us in this constantly messy, untidy, never completely pulled together, often loud and chaotic, sometimes surprisingly peaceful home. Together.
::I learned my limits.
::My children became better friends.
::We celebrated 16 years of marriage.
::I was surprised a few times when I came home from being away and found that my husband was still here.
::Still here. Just checked
::I learned that book writing is hard. I learned that writing a book inspired by pregnancy and babies is especially hard if you are both pregnant and then have a baby. I learned that doing this and also running a business is even harder. AND. I also learned that writing a book, having a baby, running a business and raising 5 other children, one dog and one canary is much, much harder. I won't mention the remodeling.
::In light of the above, I also learned that nursing a baby and using the bathroom at the same time is not unsanitary, but rather its a very good use of time and takes care of two necessities at once. And is really quite comfortable. Don't pretend you haven't done it.
::I coaxed my angry oldest son down from a 30 foot tree to talk to him about kindness and responsibility on the safety of our front steps while he picked at some pine needles that he brought from the treetop.
::I became a Godmother.
::I talked to old friends much less than I wanted to.
::I crocheted more than I had the time to.
::I learned that a hot bath can wash away a lot more than dirt. I do have the remodel to thank for that.
::I said no to some opportunities for the sake of my family.
::I accomplished some unforgiving, self-imposed deadlines.
::I failed at some stuff.
::I succeeded at some other stuff.
As I type this up, I can't help but mention that a funeral procession is driving by our front yard right now on their way to lay a loved one to rest....
2009, rest in peace. You shaped us a little more than I expected you to. Passing time is bitter, but I'm glad we're saying goodbye.
2010, here we are, nice to meet you. I adore the optimism you demand.
I wish each of you all you need in 2010 to care for yourself and those you love, to be inspired and I look forward to our continuing friendship here!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
with lots of love from your friend Anna~xoxoxox