Monday, June 01, 2009

The Boy, Himself

due.date.5.31

Yesterday was Roman's due date. Tomorrow he is two weeks old. Today I already cannot imagine our lives without him. What were we doing before he arrived? What funny noises did we giggle at or who's soft head did we stroke our cheeks against?

When I was 10 weeks pregnant, I dreamed about a boy born to me with a round face, glowing complexion, golden brown hair. He was so peaceful and smiled as soon as he arrived. It was such a euphoric dream~ an indescribable joy surrounded me nearly to an ache of sorts, and I woke up with the name of Romanos in my mind. This little one seemed to reveal himself to me that morning and I didn't want to wake up from his sweet face. It was then that I began to know him, if thats even possible. It is, I think. Most mamas would agree. And I let everyone know he was a boy before we found out officially. I've had inclinations with most of my pregnancies, only wrong about gender once, I think.

What has been such a gift with this boy is that his demeanor at this stage is just like my dream. Peaceful. Attentive. Tolerant. And smiles, though they be accidental and not what one would describe at the social smile yet, abound. Constant smiles. And I keep saying to Jeff, my mom, and everyone, it's just like my dream. This isn't answered with much acknowledgement of significance. No one says, oh wow, yea you dreamed all this, thats amazing. Rather. Its our sacred little secret. That we've known each other.

And these early days are not filled with only blissful, angelic moments. There are exhausting, sometimes painful, sometimes frustrating moments, but all bridged by interludes that can only be described like our dream~a joy that I don't want to wake up from. Perhaps he dreamed of me too. And so we rest within each other.

xoxo

163 comments:

  1. Such a sweet post, Anna! Enjoy every moment!
    Laurie
    xo

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  2. Beautifully written! I feel your joy and remember the moments I shared with my four sweet children and now 2 grandchildren. Such HAPPINESS! Thanks for sharing this special and intimate moment in your life.

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  3. He such a beautiful boy. Congratulations!!!

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  4. I can relate...I dreamt of my first one, my girl, and saw her not as a baby, but as a little girl, with golden brown braids and the sweetest of smiles as she called me "Mama," talking about something...I stayed stuck on that one word, not really remembering what else she said. I named her Aislinn, which means "dream" in Gaelic. And it suits her. And now that she's four, she really does look like her, the little happy girl from my dream, right down to the shade of her hair. And I don't think anyone really understands when I tell them, either. :) It's a mama thing, I think. No matter how much anyone else may love them, it's not the same... not like a mama's love and knowing...and how you knew them some before they even arrived.

    Enjoy this time, when he's still so little to snuggle and hold. But I know you will. :)

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  5. What a beautiful, beautiful boy! The blanket's not bad either :)

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  6. What a little doll! Children are the best of God's gifts. I'm so glad you're enjoying your sweet little man, and that he has that lovely temperament.

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  7. Dearest Anna Maria - On June 11, 2009 my fosterboy will come to this world. His mom and dad can´t take care of him, so me and my husbond will become his fosterparents. We have only know this for about two weeks, but on April 14, I had a dream where we talked and he explained, who he was, what his name was and that I should take care of him, when he was born even I am not his mother.

    So I understand you dream fully. It is so fantastic when this happens.

    I wish you all the best with Roman and all your other kids...

    Love and light from
    Jeannette Mariae, Denmark

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  8. So beautiful!

    My son Jordan came to me before his birth as well. I understand completely.

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  9. Enjoy! what a lucky little boy...what a blessed family :)

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  10. What does "Romanos" mean? It is from your family heritage, perhaps?

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  11. Such a sacred experience to share. Thank you.

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  12. Wow, your post brought tears to my eyes. My first daughter came to me in a dream (revealed her gender, her personality, the whole she-bang so to speak), but when we went to an ultra sound they told us 'boy'. The rest of my pregnancy I felt so out-of-balance. I grew up with a sister and knew nothing about boys. No idea what to expect. How to be a mother to a son. Yet, I did my best to embrace it, chose a beautiful name for him, and continued on. Then, when I delivered, and the doctor announced "its a girl" my husband I were so shocked. Mentally we had prepared ourselves for a boy, physically we had been given FIVE baby showers full of blue stuff (which of course when my nesting instinct set it, tags were snipped, tossed, and clothes were washed). Your post just brought that dream to the forefront of my memory, now that my kiddo is 3, I had tucked the thought of that dream away, and now it is back, it is here and I realize, "yeah, as a mom I KNEW that kiddo".

    I guess its good to trust those motherly intuitions. I hope it helps to know that someone can relate.

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  13. I bet he did dream of you when you dreamed of him. Thank you for sharing your baby on your blog. This way I can remember exactly what it was like when my babies were all new. A mother has a photographic memory of each baby. But it can kinda creep away until you see another baby like Roman. Then it all comes back :) Yay for babies ! He sure does have great color!

    michele :)

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  14. my heart is full! I dreamt of my son as well, before we knew the sex & even of what we would name him. In fact, we decided to name him the name in my dream... so in many ways, i feel he named himself :) enjoy the little one!

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  15. Kristi12:11 PM

    Thank you for sharing your love, happiness and family. I enjoy getting a sneak peak of all of it.

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  16. Anonymous12:19 PM

    Such a beautiful sentiment. I had dreams with each of mine, and all were correct. Though I did not take from my dreams any blissful, emotive event I could later narrate, I was quite certain of the sex of all three. You're little one is just gorgeous, but I've been a sucker for a baby is pure white onesie.

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  17. This is beautiful. He's gorgeous.

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  18. Truely beautiful. Your post is eloquent and your baby is precious.

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  19. God Bless You and your family Anna Maria! What a beautiful post!

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  20. Doxa si O Theos!
    I have been so happy about Roman's arrival: I thought about it right away: St Romanos the Melodist! How beautiful! and I am so proud of you for sharing your dream with the world. So many people will probably see their first icon because of your link.
    Dear Anna, congratulations, you are all in my prayers,
    Greetings,
    Valentina from Cyprus

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  21. He is a very beautiful little boy.

    I also dreamt of my firstborn shortly before she arrived, I dreamt of a little girl with dark hair who had trouble nursing, and the dream came to be. Shortly after she came I dreamt of her name; Augusta, but we had already named her Laura, so it became her middle name. But I always had the felling that she is Augusta.
    Thank you for sharing that wonderful story about Roman.

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  22. He is wunderful!!

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  23. Chris1:03 PM

    It seems such an understatement to say, but he is just so, so beautiful. Enjoy.

    And I love that blanket. I'm trying to learn to crochet to make one but it's not going well!

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  24. You are the only person that I have read that can describe the absolute joy that I felt while pregnant and with a little baby. Oh how I wish I could have another one somedays. But my little just-turned-6-year-old has filled me with joy and heartache I never knew could exist. Roman is beautiful.

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  25. It couldn't be said any better. Do make sure he read this when he's older, i'm sure he'll appreciate it:)

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  26. You made me all teary. He is beautiful and gosh darn it...you make me want another one. :)

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  27. He is an absoultely DREAMY baby! Congrats!! I also love the blanket used as the backdrop, very pretty.

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  28. Thank you for sharing such a sacred moment with us. He is a beautiful young man and he looks like he might have a bit spunk in him too! Have Fun!

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  29. Oh, what a wonderful post, and one that I connect with so personally.

    You see, my husband and I are both dark haired, brown eyes, and at about three months along with our first (now six) I dreamt of a cherubic girl baby with huge blue eyes and blonde curls. I woke up with the sense that that was her, but couldn't get that we could possibly have a little towhead. In reality she is precisely the rosy little face from my dream. We women are intuitive!

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  30. This is wonderful. He is perfect.

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  31. What a beautiful post, Anna. Mama's intuition is amazing. He is lovely. Enjoy...and rest.
    Simone

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  32. So sweet! I'm expecting my second girl July 11th! I'm want to make her diaper bag out of the "Fortune in Sun" fabric. It's stunning! Hope you are having a great time with your new little prince!

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  33. Children are so special aren't they? I loved reading your post!

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  34. how beautiful. We have a baby girl due this next month, and I have dreamt about her too... I cannot wait to meet her! Such joy...

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  35. He's beautiful! I knew I was having a boy too (27 years ago!) and he has been everything I would have asked for had I had choices. Every (well almost every) day has been a joy.

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  36. oh, your munchkin is so cute. I did not dream of my daughter, but as soon as I found out I was preggers I couldn't stop buying pink things, shoes, pants, shirts and this was for me!? I never wore pink. So my only thought was I must be having a girl, in fact, by the time we could find out, I didn't need to, because I was so convinced. My daughter turns 8 next month and I've totally enjoyed the ride. Bless you and your family.

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  37. He's beautiful! Many congrats!!

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  38. May God bless you and your beautiful family!!!

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  39. *sighs* that was one of the most beautiful posts I've ever read. I have several boys and only 1 little girl, so I know that special baby love for a little man (not that we don't love our girls). I love his name and how you came about naming him Roman! Take care of yourself and enjoy your babymoon~

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  40. What a sweet post and a sweet baby boy. He looks darling on that gorgeous blanket too!

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  41. oh you gave me tears! that is a beautiful post, from a beautiful mama! what a lucky little boy...congratulations : )

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  42. He is beautiful! and so is your dream! Thanks so much for sharing!

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  43. He's beautiful! God bless you all as you enjoy this blessing from Him.
    Jill

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  44. Oh great, I hope you're happy you made me cry.

    This post reads like a poem. The kind of deeply evocative love poem from your soul, and your son's.

    I have no doubt that he did in fact reveal himself to you that day, to your heart.

    Welcome little one. Bless you both always.

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  45. Congratulations- he is so adorable!!!

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  46. Aww... I love those little legs!!! I just want to scoop him up and snuggle! My ovaries are aching now...

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  47. He is GORGEOUS!!

    Congratulations again.

    (I emailed you the other day... not that you're busy right now or anything.) ;-)

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  48. Oh Anna I loved reading this post! You are such a wonderful writer and I felt elated with every word. How beautiful it is that you had a dream of your handsome, sweet, little boy! This is the kind of stuff they make movies out of! This sweet story came directly from your heart. What an incredible bond mom and baby have anyway....to have the dream too is a testament to the ultimate bond you both carry for each other. What a special gift from God.

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  49. Oh this is just incredibly beautiful.

    What a precious, precious story.

    Thank you for sharing it...

    It just feels so potent, powerful, sacred and true.

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  50. He is Beautiful....such a gift and nice to hear you have found eachother...
    Much Love

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  51. He looks so beautiful... and angelic. You are blessed!!! I love his name.

    This post is just lovely!! Enjoy every minute with him.. Bless!!

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  52. What a wonderful post and a beautiful boy!! Many Many Congrats to you! :o)

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  53. I know that you are right. I just know, mommas know their kids, and then meeting them in real life is like a re-aquaintance. You are blessed. Thanks for this post.

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  54. it sounds like you gave birth to an 'old soul' who first came to you in a dream. Lovely story. I wonder what he will do in life? I know for one, he will love his mama very much.
    Enjoy your sweet babe.

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  55. I completely understand. I can't believe how tiny he is and he already looks just like your family.

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  56. Great post, Anna!

    He is adorable and the ripple rug looks great underneath him.

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  57. Gulp....(trying not to cry) Congratulations Anna!
    I know exactly how you feel. My little guy(now 17 months)is joy in human form and has been since the day of his birth. I waited 7 years to have another baby(he is my 2nd)which was hard to do and I am trying to soak up every minute.
    I also had a beautiful dream about his birth while pregnant with him.
    May Roman continue to bless you and your family for the rest of your days.
    Much Love.

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  58. Thank you for sharing that story with us. I loved reading it. Roman is gorgeous, congratulations.

    I often hold my daughter and sing, "Once Upon a Dream" from Snow White. I have been doing it since she was born, but now that she is 9 months old she reacts to it. She laughs and giggles and loves it, as if to say,"I know exactly what you mean." At least that is the way I interpret it.

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  59. beautiful...you captured newborn love so perfectly, thankyou!

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  60. congratulations!!! what a beautiful boy! i felt the same way when pregnant with my girl - it's amazing, words cannot describe.

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  61. It`s a so nice post and Roman is so sweet, enjoy your so wonderful moments.

    Lovely greetings...
    Michaela

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  62. Anonymous3:34 AM

    Congratulations. He's a beautiful baby.
    My son is a Roman too. So, I love this name obviously (and always have, since I was a little girl).
    My Roman wasn't a placid baby at all though...

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  63. such a lovely baby.. enjoy it, this stage goes so quickly.

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  64. Not only is your fabric beautifully done but your words sing their own song. An ode to a new, gorgeous life. Congratulations again.

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  65. Gorgeous words Anna Maria! My littlest one is 4 months old, and I totally agree about having that connection....they are not only connected to us physically in utero, but I believe our souls are connected. I love your story about the dream you had....and think it so beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

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  66. Anonymous9:06 AM

    He is GORGEOUS! I love those onesies! My son is 2 and I'm still putting him in them...I will be sad when he is too big for them. Sweet, sweet post. You're an amazing Mama!

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  67. Carrie Picott9:12 AM

    Congrats AM! He is breathtaking. God bless your whole family.

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  68. Sarah Anne10:44 AM

    I love your honesty, thank you. Best wishes for you and our family, x

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  69. Congratulations to you Anna and your family. I love what you wrote. Beautiful.

    Blessings,
    Claudia

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  70. what a sweet, wonderful post, am...thank you for sharing something so wonderful with us.

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  71. Congratulations Anna Maria and family. He is a gorgeous baby. You explained so eloquently your feelings during this special time. I understand what you mean about the dream; of my four children, 2 came to me before their birth and my firstborns name also came to me during that dream. Keep enjoying this special time, it is truly a gift from God.

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  72. He is so alert and so adorable. And I believe in your dream. :)
    Lynn

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  73. You exude love! Congratulations on Roman's birth, what a gorgeous boy, you must be in bliss. And to have him born when the summer is starting, how glorious!Congratulations, and glad to see you're doing well too.
    Vanessa x (do you mind if i knit)

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  74. thank you so much for sharing your lovley thoughts and adorable pictures - best wishes for you and yours from germany
    claudia

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  75. What a wonderful post! I too had a dream about my son. My boy was a unibrow in a cage though! But I loved him just the same. Ha ha....

    Your Roman is so adorable! Enjoy these sweet moments. Hope you are feeling well!

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  76. Thank you for sharing something so deep and personal to you. Your post made me smile, and get a little teary. He is so precious. I know you are enjoying every little second of him. My baby just turned 4, and it is hard.

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  77. ladybird5:19 PM

    love this beautiful post. pure and sweet, just like him.

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  78. Congratulations! You have the most amazing little boy and he is very, very lucky to have joined such loving brothers and sisters. What a joy to look at these pictures. Thanks for sharing,
    Zlatka

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  79. How lovely. I too believe we mothers know our babes as soon as they are created. We are attached by a bond that is mystical in nature.

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  80. Your post brought tears to my eyes. The birth of your son comes as my last child graduates from high school. But I, too, feel that he and I dreamed each other before we ever had a conscious thought of the other.
    Creativity brings awareness, a connection to that intuition of motherhood. Your fabric, your quilts and your baby - thanks for sharing!

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  81. Wow! your posts are so well written Anna Maria! This is one of the best! He is very beautiful and how wonderful your shared dream. Mothers always have an edge on us fathers I think, as you get to know the children so much deeper....and earlier...
    God blessings to you, Jeff, and Roman and all the rest...

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  82. God bless him anna!!

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  83. Congratulation to your new baby :) im so happy for you

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  84. Such a touching story, Anna.

    With all three of my babies I had dreams about their gender and appearance. The only one I got 'wrong' was with my daughter, my first. In my dream she had red hair; instead her hair was a beautiful honey gold.

    Enjoy and absorb every precious moment.

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  85. Anna, Such beautifully written feelings. enjoy every moment.

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  86. He's beautiful. Congratulations, and how blessed you were to dream of him.

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  87. What a gorgeous little boy he is! Can I ask what pattern you used for the crocheted afghan? I have been looking for something similar to this.

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  88. so sweet. he is so precious. I am so happy for you all.

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  89. He's gorgeous, congratulations again.

    I dreamt of my first. I saw her, I saw certain situations (which materialized later), and I saw Hubby and I with her. When I was pregnant with my second I had dreams of twins early on and even my Hubby was taking those seriously because of the truth behind the dreams in my first pregnancy. Of course, I only had one little girl the second time around, but we have out theories about that.

    Enjoy your boy.

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  90. Anna Maria,
    What a poetic post. It almost brought tears to my eyes!
    xo

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  91. Tracy3:41 PM

    I've been checking your blog daily recently and have to admit that it makes me smile every time I click on it and that little peanut is still there! Thanks for sharing the love...

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  92. Julie Dickson6:44 PM

    Hey Anna,
    You should make some fabric for boys clothes, and maybe a simple pattern for a lederhosen type short. That would be so cute. In a few months of course.
    Julie

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  93. So sweet. Dreams really do come true! Have sweet happy memories.

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  94. That so makes me want another baby. Though I'll be 38 this year, and have a super active 3 year old...that is more active than two! Maybe second time around would be easier? The first time was a great deal of effort & a C-section, not fun! Tho my memories of that fade....and my three year old is obsessed with babies.

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  95. Best wishes to you and your beautiful family. Your new baby is precious. Beth

    http://acornpies.blogspot.com/

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  96. Monica Nugent9:51 PM

    Oh so beautiful! Many many congrats and much love from Texas!

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  97. What a lovely post about such a sweet boy!

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  98. Thank you for sharing this with us. Isn't it amazing? I dreamed about the names for our second son (all three of them) and even though, just to be sure, we had some girl names ready, yep, sure enough it was a boy, and he got the names from my dream. Recently found your blog and LOVE your fabric ! How Roman has grown allready ! Take lots of photos ! in the early weeks they change by the day! He's gorgeous!

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  99. Thank you for sharing, I feel your joy! You are so blessed, what a wonderful gift your baby boy is.
    Jan

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  100. You know my youngest son Noah, is adopted. Of course we have often talked of his birthmother and the wonderful-ness of the journey that brought him to me and me to him. When he was about 3yo he went through a phase where he refused to discuss it, refused to hear any talk of his birthmother at all. One day riding along in the car, him buckled into the carseat in the back, and me driving along in the front.. he suddenly said to me, "You know when I was inside my other mommy? You know I was very very sad back then.... I was crying for you..."

    so yes, maybe Roman was dreaming of you... I believe it♥

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  101. I feel so much the same way about our new little man that I teared up at this post--all the way down to knowing "A son!" at the moment, I swear, that he came to be. Crazy as that sounds (and slightly over-share-y). Congrats over and over!!

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  102. So, so beautiful. Congratulations to you all on your dream come true!

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  103. Cathie4:29 AM

    Thank you for sharing your private thoughts and feelings with us Anna, we're honoured! Blessings to you and yours.

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  104. Oh wow. I fell in love with my son during those early dreamlike days. Thanks for bringing those moments back to me.

    Congratulations- he is beautiful...

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  105. congratulations Anna Maria!!!!! and all is right with the world again.

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  106. I am choked up reading this blog entry of your little precious boy. I have two boys (4 and 6) and 7 yrs ago I didn't know I could even have children (infertility for almost 4 yrs) and so I dreamed so many dreams and prayed for this moment. I can't believe how fast time has passed and today my first born had his last day of (1/2 days) Kindergarten and now I have to "let him go" all day in September. It's going to be a hard September day. :( OK back to you, your baby is gorgeous and thanks for sharing your love you are having with your newborn.

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  107. Congrats! Roman is beautiful.

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  108. Beautiful sentiments about a beautiful boy! I have a 6 month old and I experienced something similar to this before she was born. At 20 weeks when we learned she was a girl, it was as if I suddenly knew her personality and all about her. I was reading Isaiah 43 and in the first verse God says "I have called you by name, you are mine." I somehow knew that this was for my Annie!

    Blessings on you all as you keep getting to know this precious new gift!

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  109. Anonymous10:25 PM

    Oh! he's precious! I share your love for pregnancies & babies. In fact, you are such an inspiration to me being a fabric designer & mom of 6 children! I am 31 years old & have 5 little ones, the eldest is 8 & youngest is 9 months, but I am NO fabric designer....I admire you so much! Like you, I absolutely am hopelessly in love with newborns. I love love love those precious days after giving birth to a new little joy, and it's so awesome when you get to share that sweetness & pure joy with your closest loves, your other children, as well.....God Bless! He's precious!

    jennifer j. s.

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  110. Gorgeous! I think I dreamed all mine too. I remember the familiarity and peace when I looked in their eyes. How the world at that moment felt complete.

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  111. What a beautiful post and a handsome sweet boy! So wonderful of you to share him with us. Blessings to you and your family.

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  112. What a wonderful post...Happy Babymoon Anna Maria!

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  115. Congratulations!!! He's adorable & I really like the name too :)

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  116. On the day your darling boy was due, 1 June, our little grandson, Daniel James, was born, 7 weeks premature, weighing 3lb 15oz. Thank goodness he is thriving and will be out of the humidicrib in a day or so.

    So from opposite sides of the world we both celebrate the birth of beautiful boys.

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  117. Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy. What a blessing he is for you.

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  118. He's adorable, Congrats!

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  119. ooo you make marvelous things!!! ADORE your blog!!

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  120. You have wonderful narration skills, and what a handsome little guy you have there. Also, truly beautiful photos in your last post! Congrats to all of you! :)

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  121. Okay, your post just made me cry. What a beautiful, thoughtful, sweet message. And what an angel.

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  122. Dear AM,

    What a joyful blessing!
    Thank you for sharing the "dream",
    how special!

    Congratulations to a
    wonderful family!

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  123. Love the blog!

    "Chris is Starving!"

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  124. He is so sweet! I can see why everyone wants to hold and love on him!

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  125. Beautiful baby boy, beautiful and touching story.

    When I was pregnant with my second child, I had the strongest feeling that I was also going to have a third child. I could never shake the feeling. My husband and I decided that we needed to stop after two, and it was hard for me, but I eventually came to accept it. Then out of nowhere I became pregnant with my third, a baby girl who is now 14 months old. I too can't imagine life without her.

    Life is beautiful and good.

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  126. I had those dreams with my babies. I knew them before they were born and knew their gender as well. I think that it is most definitely a sacred thing between Momma and Baby.

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  127. I am so jealous! We were due about the same time and I am still pregnant! Congratulations. Such a sweet gift to know him all this time- kind of like you have your own private club.

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  128. Oh, my goodness, that new photo in your "header" is pricelesss!

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  129. I love the new banner photo - beautiful.
    Congratulations!

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  130. michele10:33 PM

    beautiful family shot on banner, and Roman is adorable. he looks so much like your father in this picture.

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  131. oh yes, ... i agree and your description is so so wonderful. Mothers know.. and a mothers meet his child 10 month before somebody elses is doing, that is a gift for us!

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  132. I too had a similar experience before I became pregnant with my 4th. I saw my 3 older children is a field of flowers and my Ella playing with them. It was amazing.... I always knew she was a girl.... and had to be named Ella. She even looked just like herself. You have a beautiful family.... I just stumbled upon your blog.

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  133. Dear Anna,

    Congratulations to you and your family on the new little wee one.
    Roman is absolutely beautiful.
    I love the family photo as well. Looks like it should be in a magazine. As always, I'm so proud of you. Take Care!

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  134. Wow--thank you for these beautiful words. My little one is 6 weeks old now and it has been a whole big mix of joy, love, and hard stuff. It's so encouraging to me that a Mom of 6 has gone through similar emotions. Thanks for giving me hope. :)

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  135. Anonymous4:06 PM

    Hello Anna Maria,
    I'm very amazed right now, let me explain: 2 years ago my son was born, and as I love your Artwork, I used one of your prints as a background for my son's baby announcement who's name is: Roman !
    I had a vivid dream as well, seeing him before I knew he was a boy... amazing... peace&love to you&your loved ones<3 emilie: emepeje@rocketmail.com

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  136. Hi Anna Maria, I have just stolen some time to catch up on all in blogland.. I've been so busy with life..and 1stly CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of little Roman... he looks so sweet and yummy.... As I was reading this post my DD (3yo) climbed on my knee and saw the picture of Roman on his blanket and said " oh look mum a baby boy Laa Laa ( this is her special word for her crochet blanket that a friends great Aunt had made for her) It was so sweet and I thought I would share... I hope he loves all the blankey's and quilts that have been made for him with such love just like my DD's do.... Thanks
    Hugs and Blessings
    Dawn x

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