Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Fancy and Not

flakes.on.a.string

Well its not exactly popcorn, but snowflakey thingies came more easily somehow. The cheer shown in the tree day post was unfortunately not felt so much by me because I was too busy coming down with something. I felt so guilty for not feeling good and not being peppy for everyone, but just going through the motions. Fancy festivities. Not fancy feelings. So I spent 6 hours on the couch with that garland, ibuprofen and tea on Sunday morning so it actually got finished. But I'm better now, thank you. And I am happy with the garland, but maybe the stringy parts between are too belt-like and thick. Dunno.

garlanding

There could be lots of posts coming that are more photos than words, because thats the easier, faster part for me. I have to tell you. I have to. I never want to work as hard as I'm working right now ever again. In one way I love the amount of things that are getting accomplished but some days feel like I'm dragging a pile of boulders for miles before I can see some progress. I am tired of being top-priority busy. Certainly there are some mid-priority tasks in there somewhere that I'm attaching the wrong priority to. I don't think so though. I've checked. Like 6 times. And its seems that everything is at the top of the list these days. Which I'm pretty sure is actually a good thing. Because I'm doing things that matter to me and hopefully a few other people. (I'm doing things that matter. I'm doing things that matter. ) I just can't tell from here. Anyone else know what I mean? You must. I am feeling a little nostalgic for the days when nursing a newborn at 11am was top priority. Everyone told me I would miss it. I knew I would. I didn't know how much. Not that it was ever that simple. But it seems like it from here. Hungry? Feed it. Crying? Feed it. Tired? Feed it. Hurt? Feed it.

chandelier

It's just that season where there is such a yearning enjoy my family and home and I feel like I've had my back to a lot of it for a while. Too long. I'm tired. I'm happy. But I'm tired. That's not so bad. And to say sorry for more photos than words and short or no posts would be silly in light of the kindness and encouragement you are constantly showing me. You know its time to slow down when you miss being sick on the couch just so something can get accomplished. Any little thing all the way done would do. Even this post.

love from here, xo,AM

40 comments:

  1. Feel better soon, Anna~ I had my turn in bed last week....not fun being sick, esp. so close to Christmas, but hopefully we are done with our turn, right?! Love the snowflake garland! LOVE IT! Nope, it's not too fat and belt like....love it against the black mantle. Happy day, Laurie~

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  2. oh my gosh, when you said how you were on the couch sick and crocheting your garland, I was like, "oh man I wish I had the time for that" so I know where you are coming from. I'm into taking deep breaths these days!

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  3. Aww... sick is no fun and being heartsick for slow pace and family is no fun either. I hope you feel better soon.

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  4. feel better anna maria!

    xo
    jen

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  5. I know exactly how you feel...I have been super busy with Gallery deadlines, Market deadlines, Christmas commissions, social obligations, and I just collapsed yesterday and slept all day. Feel better soon, and by all means, just post pics..they are a visual delight and they do speak volumes!

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  6. Hang in there. You know there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes that tunnel is just CRAZY long! Rest up. :) ~jen~

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  7. Jessi9:56 PM

    I get it. I'm totally an overachiever and when I was finished up design school kept piling, and piling on tasks. Enough was never enough. Until finally, I hit my wall and learned where my point was. I found relief, but not without feeling somewhat of a failure because I had reached my breaking point. Enjoyment is the most important part of life though, so eventually things will end and resume to whatever normal you so choose...even if its nursing more infants! (you're sure I will miss it someday?)

    Get well soon, and thanks for taking time out of the busy schedule even for a photo here and there!

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  8. Oh I hear you loud and clear, only too well. It's nice you're so honest. It's good for us all to hear that it isn't easy and that all you do is hard hard draining (although satisfying) work. Don't worry about us. We will be here.

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  9. Sending you a big hug and lots of positive vibes. Know that you are such a force for good in this community of women. Rarely does a person have such a gift to make herself loved even by those she's never met! May you enjoy the little moments that happen no matter what other "priorities" we have!

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  10. Sometimes slowing down is the best thing you can do for yourself. It's funny isn't it? That mind numbing time of tiny babies (all the feeding and changing and feeding and changing and feeding...) when you feel your mind is turning to mush, has a simplicity we yearn for when life speeds up! It's a gentle reminder to try to enjoy the moment whichever moment you happen to be in! Not always easy, but a good idea for sanity's sake!!!

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  11. Take care and enjoy the season.

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  12. MaryAnn/Ca7:51 AM

    Hugs....and a photo is just fine.

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  13. I've read your blog for awhile now and enjoy it immensely. Love your beautiful colors! I've often wondered "how does she do it?" when I read about your busy life. I can't figure out how you keep up with your business and five children. It's impressive.

    I'm an oil painter, mother of two, curator of exhibitions at a small museum, and a sometimes college professor (two full days a week this spring). I feel blessed in many ways--amazed I've found so many opportunities in the field of art, which I'm passionate about, while living in a small town.

    However, like you describe, I sometimes feel overloaded with tier one priorities.

    Good luck with finding ways to slow down. It's a pleasure watching your business take off.

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  14. I love, love, love your garland!

    I really hope you feel better soon, and that everything gets done so you can have a restful, relaxing, and fun Christmas!

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  15. Anonymous8:45 AM

    Hi Anna Maria,

    I am a huge fan and your blog is my favorite! I am always impressed with everything you do. I am a stay at home mom of 7 children and have a hard time just doing my sewing and knitting as a hobby, I can't imagine doing it as work with a real deadline and everything. I think it is totally understandable that you are tired LOL

    As for missing that nursing every hour newborn stage, I totally can relate. At the time it can be overwhelming, but really that is one of the most simple times in life.

    Hope you can slow down a little and enjoy Christmas : )

    Tonya

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  16. Anonymous9:13 AM

    annamaria- I just finished nursing my newborn, but it's only 10:10. I will appreciate this phase more today with your reminder, and you can appreciate your creative busy phase, I hope. Good luck!

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  17. When you feel better it will all feel better, if you know what I mean...I hope you feel better soon!

    These photographs are beautiful. And I love all these yarn-y decorations.

    xo

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  18. AnnaMaria - I've been following your blog for awhile. It's amazing what perspective can do. I'm currently recovering from surgery and not allowed to do anything but sit on the couch - all I want to do is be productive.

    I'm glad your sick day was productive, but sad you feel so tired after it. Your pictures are always so beautiful, so I wouldn't think that any appologies are necessary for photo only posts. Take care of yourself. I hope you find some time to squeeze in family activities without feeling guilty. Happy Holidays - g

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  19. Garland? Perfect. Feeling like you're that tired? Oh yeah, been there, done that. Most recently when I realized last spring that I was working the equivalent of 5 full time jobs with only one me. Hang in there -- schedule some "time off" from some of the "work" stuff (I know -- it feeds parts of you you need, but hey -- um, SOMETHING has to be able to be set aside). Spend some of that time just giggling with the kids -- snuggling with the hubby -- taking a nice long, hot bath and reading a book that has nothing to do with anything. In otherwords -- recharge before you do what I did, which is burn out. Take time for you and for what you love, otherwise you'll never be able to enjoy what you're doing.

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  20. 'Tis the season to feel pulled in every direction, especially when we have such blessedly full lives. Photo posts are most welcome, and so are quiet moments, when you can work on the rest of your life. Take it easy. And I think the garland is the best.

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  21. Boy, do I ever know that feeling.

    I hope you can hurry up and slow down. :)

    I always try to find the joy in *this crazy moment*...as, I'm certain that, just as I never guessed I'd miss the sleepless nights, the time will come when I miss the chaos.

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  22. krista11:28 AM

    Aww...*HUGS*

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  23. awwh - know just how you feel, you need a short (non-ill) break to recharge those batteries I think...

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  24. Happy Holidays from Canada! Please take a deep breath, a hot bath, light a candle and let go of everything for an hour. You'll feel better. Love your blog so please take good care of yourself so you'll have lots to share with us. Hope you feel less stressed in the coming days.

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  25. You know someone told me that my family would like me more if I was busy doing the things that are me, like my art work... I think that was YOU!!! Your family understands... but it is okay to tell work to wait and go be with them because THOSE memories last a lifetime...the work doesn't. My last day of my teaching position is tomorrow and then the weight of the world will ease up a bit and I'll be more pleasant :)
    And you ARE doing important and good things ... usually the MOST important things that are done produce the Greatest impact on the world but are not always given recognition...like being a Mom, being a creative role model for all of us and being a great wife!!!

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  26. I think that the comforting part of all of these words is to know that you are not alone in your feelings of being pulled in so many directions. I'm sure those top priorities are magnified by the holidays as well, but know that what you are doing and have done--does matter. Thank you for sharing snippets of your creative life :)

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  27. Awww- I hope you feel better soon and I pray that rest for your body and mind comes soon. You are doing so many things that we, your great fans, LOVE- but you are human too, so just relax and ENJOY your success!

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  28. elisalou7:46 AM

    Hey There
    I too have felt that way. When my business took off way faster than I ever anticipated and all of a sudden I was working ALL the time I was thrilled. At first. Then all of a sudden I realized that my baby wasn't a baby anymore and we never went to the zoo anymore and where had those loving cuddling times gone- now I have three crazy BIG boys (well sorta). I looked at my husband and said, "we are fresh out of babies!" I miss those young nursing days too but I have found that it comes in waves. And even if we stop at three kiddos I need to figure out a better balance because I need them as much as they need me. Take Care!

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  29. Hi Anna Maria,

    I can so relate to everything said! I am also in the industry that your are in and my business partner and I have been feeling the same way. We just want to do stuff that we WANT to do. The kind of stuff that we enjoy doing. And yes, feeling that I should just be with my family has been a HUGE emotion for me too. Best of luck, take a break for you and Merry Christmas.

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  30. I remember being in that same place - a million things, and each one is top priority. But, this too will be like nursing a baby. You'll miss it. It is a phase in life. Go with it. Be a clown and juggle your best china. There will always be plates in the air, but they rotate around, and each plate gets touched.

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  31. You and I are riding the same train right now, sister. Wish we lived closer so we could at least have a drink together and commisserate. Hang in there!

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  32. Take care! I'm seriously groovin' on the chandelier!

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  33. Anonymous11:56 PM

    Ana Maria check out this tutorial
    on making a crocheted popcorn garland.

    http://dottieangel.blogspot.com/

    ~elaine~

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  34. I absolutely LOVE the garland. When I first saw it I drew in my breath. It's so beautiful! And I'm impressed - it's handmade!

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  35. Never have I related more to a post anywhere at anytime than this one (and I've never had a newborn). I was trying to figure out how I've been feeling the past six months/year, and you just said it all.

    I always think of this little quote that one of my English profs. used to keep on her wall that I never understood: "There is no solution. Seek it lovingly."

    Not that I understand it now, but -- yeah. I never seem to get on top of it. And all I can conclude is that I must find a way to put the love in front of me, somehow.

    Some days -- oh, some days. All I can do is lay on the couch and crochet.

    Thinking of you xo, a

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  36. Anonymous11:05 PM

    Bless your heart, Anna...you're such a dear. Have a Happy Holiday and enjoy the fruits of your labor!
    Andrea in Florida

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